WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE.
Sometimes it comes in literal sobriety, sometimes in derisive travesty, sometimes in tragic aggravation.
Of late have been feeling like being at a pivotal moment in my life. Pivotal moments are big moments and little moments of clarity that provide us with new perspectives and opportunities to change our lives. Like the choices that I will make now could put me on a path towards breakdown and a future of perpetual crisis, or a breakthrough to a better world for myself, my daughter, and those around me.
A lot of reading has been happening, a lot of aha moments. Things I never knew where, now are. I don't know if that sentence makes sense. and a lot is swamping at you for your consumption. It's not that am not happy for this moment in my life? Am happy am in this space right now. But I would love to come out on the winning side. On God's side.
I don't know if you believe in a superpower or the universe. But whoever and whatever you believe your superpower is? That's who's side I would love to come on and on mine my superpower or higher power is God.
A point where am re-learning myself, and am glad that I decided to look for help when I started doubting my reality. I know am on this journey of healing that will take time? but am willing to put in the work. Happy that am putting in the work and standing up for myself more and saying no to things that I don't feel comfortable with that I used to shove under for I didn't want to hurt another's feelings.
At this pivotal point in my life, I pray for my relationship with God. I realize sometimes or rather many times I fail to come to him. Knowing very well that I should give him more of my time. I pray that in this pivoting moment I will have a better relationship with him. That I use this time of waiting to grow closer to him. to devote more of my time, more of my heart, and more of my mind to him. I becoming better at looking to him and turning to him in everything.
My love for him will grow continuously . Knowing it's easy for me to be lured and tempted by the things of this world, and sometimes even by the things my heart desires most. I ask that he helps me to remember that this world is my ship and not my home. To keep my eyes focused on him and eternity in heaven.
As I go through this phase and transition, I pray I come out on his side. Am here putting my thoughts into the universe, knowing that through our words and action, the universe aligns and responds to what we believe in. I want to come out on his side for him by side means every other thing I want would be added unto me. At this pivoting point in my life, I would love him to refine me. There were times I was afraid of him refining me. But at this point am no longer afraid of his refinement. I would love to be tried his fire. In order for him to purify me and take whatever he desires from this life.That he may clean my hands and purify my heart. I surrender all and no longer hold back.
So yes,that's where I am at this moment in time. A pivotal place and pray that I may come out on the path of breakthroughs.Into a greener and a safer world.Into a world of abundance and where grace speaks for me. Where favor goes ahead of me. and where he will be.
Love and light.
Adoket.